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La la la. It was a fine, dandy day when your child asked a question that you never even thought they’d ask.
“Mummy, what happens when I die?”
And you freeze. “Oh my gosh, what do I say? Do I keep it real and tell them the truth, or do I try to preserve their youthful innocence and make something up?”
I know how horrifying it can be when your child suddenly asks about the macabre topic.
And why are they even asking about death? They’re so far away from it!
So how should you handle the situation? Let’s discuss it today.
Honestly, It’s Not A Big Deal.
I know, how is it not a big deal?! Your young child is asking about the morbid topic of death!
But honestly, it’s a topic that many children ask about. After all, didn’t you wonder about it too when you were a child?
Children explore the world around them, and they love to ask “why” and “what” questions. Why’s the sky blue, why’s Daddy’s tummy so big, and what happens after I die?
So think of it as just another question that your child doesn’t know the answer to, simply because they’re still new to this whole life thing.
Anyway, it’s a topic that they’ll have to learn about eventually. And isn’t it a good thing that your child is pondering on something so deep at such a young age?
However, a caveat – if it starts to consume their daily thoughts, behaviours, and actions and they ponder obsessively about it for a long period, then you might have to start getting worried and get a professional involved.
How Do You Explain Such A Heavy Concept?
Well, it’s undeniable that everyone has to die one day, right?
Life is just a journey, and death is the destination.
But your child might not understand that if they’re younger. Even so, don’t shy away from the topic.
Confront the topic calmly and show your children that it’s not a taboo or a big deal to be thinking about something like this.
I have a friend who was so afraid of the idea of death even early into adulthood because his parents avoided the topic like the plague!
It took him years to come to accept it when he realised that no one escapes death.
So use books and TV shows, and draw it out with them! If you’re religious, visit your places of worship and have your child speak with a figure who can answer all of their questions.
See, death doesn’t have to be a ‘sit down and talk about it in hush voices because it’s so serious and a taboo’ kind of topic if you don’t make it out to be!
How To Support Your Child During This Phase
Expect your child to have a lot of questions during this time, obviously!
They’ll also experience a bunch of emotional highs and lows, and they think things through.
So be there for them, or they might spiral! Answer their questions with what you and your partner believe to be the truth, and comfort them when they’re scared.
Lastly, continue to check in with your child to make sure their emotions aren’t unchecked and that they won’t feel emotionally neglected during this vulnerable period.
Do not just be invested for a short while and then suddenly drop it. Your child will be so confused, and they might just drop the topic because Mummy and Daddy aren’t talking about it anymore.
Conclusion
Death is a complex topic. And just like that complex movie you watched and couldn’t stop pondering for days afterwards, your child needs time to contemplate the topic.
And when they seem to be focusing their attention on something else or are just not talking about it anymore, let the wave ride out.
But don’t see this topic as a closed book or expect it to be one. It’s not just a topic that you think about once in your life and move on, right?
So your child might open it up again in the future, and that’s alright! Just be there to hear them talk and offer some comfort!
Life will still go on, and as your child gets older and learns how to regulate and process their own thoughts and emotions, they’ll process the topic by themselves!
If you’d like to keep your child occupied or explore the topic through literature, one of SmileTutor’s professional tutors can help with that!
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