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So you noticed that Terry has been acting like a brat lately.
Talking back, throwing tantrums, spewing vulgarities, this child will stop at nothing!
Your relatives constantly tell you “Spare the rod, spoil the child.”
But being a level-headed individual, you want to find out why he is always so angry and moody all the time, so you try to talk to him about it, only to be met with grunts and annoyance.
What is your next course of action? Why does he act that way?
Today we are going to help you better understand what goes through his mind and how you can help him!
Environmental Factors
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The first thing that therapists always ask is ‘Tell me about your family.’ And rightfully so.
Every aspect of your child’s surroundings affects their emotional, social and mental development.
It is a widely known fact that children tend to mimic the actions and speech of those around them. They pick up on details, both good and bad, that the people around them display.
Do you or any other family members regularly display anger around your child?
What about their friends? Who do they hang out with? Who do they see as influences?
These are important details to know in order to pinpoint the root of your child’s emotions.
Genetics
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Another factor to consider for your child’s emotional instability is genetics.
Do you have other family members who have a history with anger similar to your child? If the answer is yes, you might need to take this into consideration.
Studies have shown that genes play a big role in angry tendencies within children.
Children from families with a history of mental illnesses such as bipolar disorder and depression have a higher chance of developing the same illnesses.
It is a sad truth that many people choose to ignore due to the sensitivity and stigma of the subject, but it is also a key factor in determining the cause of child aggression.
Adolescent Aggression
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Oh it’s just their hormones, they will be fine after a while
That’s the normal response you might get when complaining about your child’s tantrums to your other relatives and friends.
Well yes, there is some truth to that.
During pre-teen and teenage years, the frontal lobe is still developing. Hormonal imbalances also occur during puberty, which leads to mood swings and sometimes outbursts of anger.
Being understanding of your child’s emotional imbalances during this period of their life would mean a lot to them, as they themselves might not know the cause of their irregular emotions.
Another cause of teenage angst could be stress due to relationships with their peers and things going on in school.
Maybe Terry is doing badly in school and his classmates are doing better than him?
Maybe he is having disagreements with his friends?
This links back to the environmental factors that affect his emotions.
Consequences Of Youth Angst
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If kept unchecked, teen angst can translate into violent thoughts and tendencies.
They might start to find ways to relieve these tendencies, which include flaming online and picking fights.
There has been a rise in teen violence in recent years, many of which were recorded and put on social media.
In more serious and rare cases, it can lead to extreme violence, as evident in the Parkland High School shootings in 2018 perpetuated by a teenager with severe anger issues.
While schools have implemented procedures to help troubled teens with their emotions through counseling, parents like yourself play an important role too.
How You Can Help Your Child
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It is important to be involved in your child’s life and to understand their emotions.
While some children may shun concern and say that they can handle their emotions themselves, it is still a good idea to keep a close eye on them and ensure that they can resolve their emotional turmoil.
If they can’t resolve this issue on their own, don’t be afraid to step in for their own good.
Talk to them about getting professional help if it is too overwhelming for either of you to handle.
If they go overboard with their anger and it starts to tick you off to no end, do restrain yourself from inflicting corporal punishment.
Studies have shown that corporal punishment only fuels your child’s innate anger and can even lead to resentment and hatred.
Be firm and assertive, but don’t resort to violence no matter what.
Conclusion
It has always been assumed that children are just being ‘bad kids’ who need a spanking whenever they are moody or angry.
But most of the time, there must be an underlying reason for their bad behavior, and it is your job to uncover it and help them find a solution if they can’t do it themselves.
They will greatly appreciate your support, even if they don’t show it, and it might even foster good habits in them as they imitate your actions in the future when they become parents themselves!
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