We all go through events and experiences that shape the way we live.
For some, they live through an economic crisis. For me, I was born into my crisis.
Not because of luck or what the world was going through, but because of sheer, divine timing.
Now, I’m not talking about a genetic illness, fortunately.
I’m talking about being a…middle child.
Before you go rolling your eyes and saying, “Oh my god, get over it. We know you grew up neglected by your parents. And statistically, you’re probably jealous of your siblings and have the lowest self-esteem among you and your siblings!”
First of all, ouch.
But secondly, that’s true, actually.
Middle-born children tend to be good mediators and peacemakers. Due to our experiences settling fights between our older and younger siblings, we have more empathy and problem-solving skills.
So statistically, middle kids can be more sociable, creative, and have good leadership qualities!
Well, then why are you complaining?
The Middle-Child Syndrome: Why The Middle Child Suffers Neglect
(Credits: Choosing Therapy)
I know every sibling has their syndrome.
The oldest tends to be know-it-all high achievers, while the youngest tends to be more attention-seeking and spoilt.
But they also like to complain about the attention. When has extra parental attention ever done anyone any harm?
But you know what has been proven to harm children? A lack of attention and involvement from parents! The same kind that most middle-born children go through.
When I was in early childhood, I noticed the same cycle that most parents go through.
Their first child comes out, and they’re excited to spend all their time and effort on this child.
Then they’re exhausted when the second comes. So they think about what was unnecessary with their first child and cut back on those corners.
But by the time the third child arrives, they’re excited again and feel rejuvenated to try harder with the third child, to make up for the second.
Now, I’m not here to advocate for middle-child superiority. I’m here to implore you to spend more time with your second child (or third).
Research has shown that middle children have personality traits that make it hard for them to grow up “normally.” Simple because they’re middle kids!
For example, I remember never feeling secure around my siblings because I always felt a one-sided rivalry around them for my parents’ attention. So I never bothered spending much time with them.
I’d rather be by myself, plotting how I’ll get my parents’ attention at dinner tonight, than fraternise with the enemy!
How To Spend Time With Your Middle Child
Maybe your cheeks are red now, as you realise that you indeed slacked off with your second child.
So you want to spend time with them to make up for it all. But how?
Is there a special formula for spending time with your middle child? Is there anything you should do or avoid?
Relax. Take a deep breath and read on to find out what tips this middle child can give you!
Do What They Like, 1 on 1
This seems obvious, right? And easy!
So what does your middle child like?
Hmmm… are you still thinking? Well, the waiting area for the other parents who’re still thinking is over there, but it’s full.
Just ask them!
If you’re at a loss, or you just really want to make sure that you’re choosing something they like, there’s no harm in going straight to the source, right?
Your child will be happy to finally get some of your attention without having to chase for it!
Just Chat With Them
This may seem like another simple one.
But the time that you spend chatting with them, showing interest in their life, and getting to know them will strengthen your relationship with them!
Remind them how much you love them, how special they are, and how much you enjoy spending time with them.
And if they ask which child you love more, there’s no harm in a little white lie, right?
Treat Them Specially
As a middle child, treating me especially was the easiest way my parents could apologise to me or make me feel loved again.
It doesn’t even have to be anything big.
Let them choose which movie to watch next or what to eat for dinner.
Get them a bun from the bakery they like for no reason, or make them feel special by simply asking them if they’d like anything.
How can you not feel fuzzy in your heart when you know that someone’s thinking of you?
Here’s a little tip: Pull them aside and tell them that you only got it for them and not their siblings.
This will make them feel even more special.
Conclusion
Being the silent glue of the family is tough work.
And like any superhero duty, it’s a lonely, thankless job.
So don’t neglect your middle child. It’s easy to show them some TLC (Tender Loving Care) that’ll brighten up their day and hopefully help them adjust better while growing up.
And if they need extra tender, loving care, engage one of our friendly private tutors from SmileTutor.
Facebook