‘Not Your Mother’s’ Premarital Counseling

This entry is from our Expert Guest series where wedding and honeymoon professionals share their best tips on creating memories that last a lifetime. We want to thank our friends at OURS for sharing this great content.

When you think of premarital counseling, you’re probably reminded of the early 2000’s movie ‘License to Wed’ right? We know we are! Hearing the term “premarital counseling” immediately brings thoughts of a religious figure asking you question after question in their office to determine if you’re ready for marriage or not. For many, this can be an uncomfortable or even scary process to go through. The good news is, it doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, research shows that the right kind of premarital counseling is beneficial to your relationship and can improve your marital satisfaction by 30%!

If you’re looking for a modern approach, we’ve found just the right people to help you — OURS. They’re a premarital counseling and couples’ therapy alternative that offers a new approach to bringing you closer to your partner. They’ve looked at what was missing in traditional premarital counseling programs and added topics that were ignored in the past. Each session is based on decades of research that you can use to make your relationship even stronger than it already is. They’ve given us the full scoop on what it’s like to go through premarital counseling in 2023—keep reading to learn more!

First, What Exactly Is Premarital Counseling?

Premarital counseling is designed to help you and your partner prepare for the relationship of marriage. You can think of it as a roadmap for your journey ahead. During your time in premarital counseling, you will talk about the important things you’ll navigate in your marriage – this might include topics like communication, sex, and finances. It also can include topics that you might not know to talk about, like how to navigate boundaries or what it means to create a secure, functioning relationship.

While all of us enter our marriage knowing we want to keep it as happy and healthy as possible, most of us don’t know exactly what we should plan for or talk about in order to set ourselves up for success. In fact, 71% of respondents in The OURS State of The Union survey said they wish they had more information on how to talk about conflict and other big relationship topics.

Premarital counseling teaches couples how to normalize the fact that relationships are challenging and helps them to build a proactive attitude towards their relationship. By offering insight, providing education, future telling by sharing anecdotes, and helping you to build skills, premarital counseling helps you and your partner have important conversations and plan for the future together.

In other words, marital or premarital counseling isn’t just for when you are facing issues in your relationship. The healthiest couples actually get support for their relationship proactively. Research shows 84% of Millennials believe that healthy relationships would benefit from going to couples’ counseling proactively. If this is you, take the OURS quiz to get started.

Why Does Premarital Counseling Matter?

We’d like to be real with you. Premarital counseling matters because marriage can be hard work. While humans are certainly wired for connection, they are also wired for a lot of other things that can disrupt relational satisfaction – impulsivity, selfishness, and aggression to name a few. Research shows that premarital counseling helps couples to harness the magic of their relationship, ultimately reducing divorce rates and increasing relational satisfaction. It’s worth reiterating that couples who complete some form of premarital counseling have a 30% increase in marital satisfaction compared to those who don’t.

Marriage is one the biggest decisions you’ll make in your life and almost nothing has a bigger impact on your social, emotional, physical, and financial health. When your marriage is thriving, all other areas of your life will reap the benefits. Whereas, when your relationship is struggling so can everything else.

If premarital counseling has been on your radar, this can be a great engagement or wedding gift that your friends and family can gift to you! Sign up for Honeyfund today and add premarital counseling to your registry!

The Traditional Approach vs. The OURS Approach

Traditional:

Often religiously based
Hasn’t been changed or updated in many years, following old paradigms
Mostly about talking
Everyone takes the same sessions
Often considered “dry”

OURS:

First thing’s first, their program welcomes all types of relationships, no matter who you love. You are safe with them.
Secular – whatever you believe in, they believe this program can work for you.
Designed for the modern couple – talk about things that matter in our current world.
You’ll do a lot more than talking – touch, creativity, learning, and planning happen alongside deep conversations.
They tailor the program to you and your relationship
Serious + fun – they know that taking the relationship seriously matters, but it’s actually play that keeps things interesting. They’ll surprise and delight you throughout!
Use the power of human touch through your meetings with guides alongside the power of technology.

OURS thinks about how people actually like to learn and connect with each other.

During your program, they will teach you how to have a healthy relationship through a serious, yet fun (yes, they can exist together!) approach to relationship wellness. They’ve developed their program to be about more than just talking it out – while you will certainly have amazing conversations, you will also learn through play, touch, planning, and inner reflection. This helps you tap into all of the things that make you, you.

Completely Unique to You

No two couples will go through the same program. Your guide will pay special attention to who you are, what you need, and where you want to go. They will design a roadmap of sessions to take together that touch on the areas they believe you need to focus on the most. And, throughout the program, the resources, feedback, guidance and surprises sprinkled inside will be just for you!

Learn more about OURS and their decades worth of research on their site.

Ready to get started? Check out this quiz and apply to OURS!